“Believe and you will understand. The faith precedes, the intelligence follows.” This quote from St Augustin helps me a lot. It is a perfect illustration of what I want to demonstrate.
To understand well what I want to talk about, I need to come back on one word. I want to explain the word “faith”. What does it means? What does it refers to?
Everyone has his own definition. According to me, it refers to my religion, my belief in God, my loyalty towards Him, my trust in His love. But it could also refer to many other things like hope or conviction. What is your own definition? Think about it…
Sometimes, you do not feel well with what you are, with what you think, with what you do. And some events in your life can change it. I haven’t lived only one strong event in my life that change myself but it was a succession of events and an evolution in my head, in my heart.
I remember. I remember a trip I have done with a priest in Rome. We were just him and me for a complete week at the beginning of summer 2005. I was fifteen. I grew up in a catholic family but he is the first priest I really met. He is the first priest I trust. He opened my mind and my heart. We talked a lot about life, about love. He makes me feel that I can be loved by someone, that I can be loved by God. It was the first step of the development of my faith.
I remember. I remember a week I spent the same year during the fall in the monastery of Taizé. It was a week with 3000 young Catholics. All those young people believe in God and came there to find a community to pray with and to talk to. Many of them talked about their own faith without any problem. That helps me to be more confident. It helps me to trust in myself and I am not scared anymore to show who I am. I am not scared anymore to show my conviction. It was the second step of the development of my faith.
I remember. I remember a trip in winter 2007 in Holly Earth. I had discovered the beauty of His love. It was a pilgrim with fourteen French youth. I haven’t met them before, and most of them knew each other already, so it made me feel uneasy. It was hard for me to enter in the prayer community. A priest told me: “let Him go, let Him enter your life”. It is hard to do that when you are only seventeen years old isn’t it? Then I ask myself: “why? Why should God come to visit me?” I spend seven nights waiting for Him. It was the last praise in Jerusalem, the Holy City, before the end of the pilgrim. A strange and indescribable feeling overran into my body. I spent the most beautiful moment in my life. I had discovered the beauty of His love.
“Believes and you will understand. The faith precedes, the intelligence follows”. I received something that I didn’t understand. I didn’t try to understand it. I didn’t try to catch the meaning. I didn’t try to go against that feeling. I think that day, I believe.